The Church Cowboy

NE_FL · Post by **NE_FL** » Thu Oct 08, 2015 10:24 am

The Church Cowboy

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he
entered, he saw that he and the preacher were
the only ones present. The preacher asked the
cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.

The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went
to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd still
feed him." So the minister began his sermon.

One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-
half hours. The preacher finally finished and came
down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.

The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very
smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one
showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

*************************************************************

YoDude · Post by **YoDude** » Thu Oct 08, 2015 7:42 pm

Oh wait...Hahahahaha

Yo-

Fred · Post by **Fred** » Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:05 pm

Once upon a time a vicar had a nice assembly and preached every Sunday. His son who was a bit of a lad had tatoos and rings in his nose and was a punk rocker but still had desires to be a Vicar and kept on at his dad to take the sermon. Later when you have matured a little said his father fearing his excitability.

One day he agreed reluctantly to let his son take the sermon.

After the sermon the son asked his dad how he went on, His dad said "well you went ok at first but got a bit carried away with The Golieth story. Simon slew Golieth with a pebble and a sling shot --he didnt smash his fucking head in with a house brick and Samson slew 20,000 philistines with the jaw bone of an ass and not the arse bone of a Girraff.

YoDude · Post by **YoDude** » Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:16 pm

Samson slew 20,000 philistines with the jaw bone of an ass

Is this written in the Bible somewhere?

Yo-

Fred · Post by **Fred** » Thu Oct 08, 2015 11:47 pm

Suzuki Johnny · Post by **Suzuki Johnny** » Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:23 am

Now who would have thought that ole Fred was deeply versed in the Old Testament

NE_FL · Post by **NE_FL** » Sat Oct 10, 2015 9:02 am

He does seem to have a compelling interest in religion, doesn't he? [emoji56]

Fred · Post by **Fred** » Sun Oct 11, 2015 12:54 am

NE_FL wrote:He does seem to have a compelling interest in religion, doesn't he? [emoji56]

Its more than an interest its very painful watching morons ruin my world.--the only world I have. It is sickening to just sit back unable to stop religion rotting human society. From suicide bomber to horrible slimey Catholic pedophiles.

Suzuki Johnny · Post by **Suzuki Johnny** » Sun Oct 11, 2015 5:56 am

With a phantasmal worldly attitude like that Fred....it must be horrible to wake up in the morning and not having to thank Someone for still being here on Mother Earth....
There is absolutely NO WAY the universes could have created it selves on it's own.....Nothing is created except by a Creator

Fred · Post by **Fred** » Sun Oct 11, 2015 8:28 am

Suzuki Johnny wrote:With a phantasmal worldly attitude like that Fred....it must be horrible to wake up in the morning and not having to thank Someone for still being here on Mother Earth....
There is absolutely NO WAY the universes could have created it selves on it's own.....Nothing is created except by a Creator]

Your problem is you don't understand evolution. Its a wonderful thing and once you understand it it is applicable to everything and makes so much more sense and is bloody obvious. Kinda one of those fore head smacking moments and you say of course.

Google it ---yes its so simple. you will be able to work out why you get angry, or why you take a deep breath when you fall into cold water and have hair under you arm pits and why you ears are just in the right place for you glasses or why you have big teeth at the back. These things you don't know do you,-- like do you know what your Appendix is and what it is for.

Read about the big beak finch and the small beak finch and why they are what they are,-- fascinating if you put that shit book down called the Bible and embrace the world you live on.

When I wake in the morning I don't thank anyone but I am great full to my parents for passing on wonderful genes and being able to work out why I am here without thanking everything like a dog with a sausage,--- he don't know where it came from but thanks anyway..

No one --- no one, but no one 2000 years ago knew shit.

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:55 am

The Big Bang Theory; the Theory of Evolution; seems as if your faith lies in theory alone. God bless you, Fred.

NE_FL · Post by **NE_FL** » Sun Jan 10, 2016 1:10 pm

Fred, help me understand evolution: What did the 1st atom evolve from?

dallascoslacker · Post by **dallascoslacker** » Sun Jan 10, 2016 9:56 pm

NE_FL wrote:Fred, help me understand evolution: What did the 1st atom evolve from?

Energy.

Herb · Post by **Herb** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 5:58 pm

dallascoslacker wrote:
NE_FL wrote:Fred, help me understand evolution: What did the 1st atom evolve from?

Energy.

Where did the energy come from?

YoDude · Post by **YoDude** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 7:16 pm

With that question, isn't it fair game to query, "Where did God come from?"

Yo-

scootermcq · Post by **scootermcq** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:11 am

YoDude wrote:With that question, isn't it fair game to query, "Where did God come from?"

Yo-

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

YoDude · Post by **YoDude** » Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:18 pm

....and where's that voice coming from anyway?

Yo-

Fred · Post by **Fred** » Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:12 am

Yeah and who heard god say let there be light, he had not made the planet at that time so who was there taking notes.

Oh no!!!! you dont think some one made it all up do you?

scootermcq · Post by **scootermcq** » Thu Mar 03, 2016 10:31 am

Hey Fred..... where you been hiding?

Suzuki Johnny · Post by **Suzuki Johnny** » Fri Mar 04, 2016 4:46 am

Fred wrote:
Suzuki Johnny wrote:With a phantasmal worldly attitude like that Fred....it must be horrible to wake up in the morning and not having to thank Someone for still being here on Mother Earth....
There is absolutely NO WAY the universes could have created it selves on it's own.....Nothing is created except by a Creator]
Your problem is you don't understand evolution. Its a wonderful thing and once you understand it it is applicable to everything and makes so much more sense and is bloody obvious. Kinda one of those fore head smacking moments and you say of course.

Google it ---yes its so simple. you will be able to work out why you get angry, or why you take a deep breath when you fall into cold water and have hair under you arm pits and why you ears are just in the right place for you glasses or why you have big teeth at the back. These things you don't know do you,-- like do you know what your Appendix is and what it is for.

Read about the big beak finch and the small beak finch and why they are what they are,-- fascinating if you put that shit book down called the Bible and embrace the world you live on.

When I wake in the morning I don't thank anyone but I am great full to my parents for passing on wonderful genes and being able to work out why I am here without thanking everything like a dog with a sausage,--- he don't know where it came from but thanks anyway..

No one --- no one, but no one 2000 years ago knew shit.

If we did evolve from monkeys....then why are there still monkeys?

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