Last night

[jeffcoslacker]

...I had a weird dream. One of those you can't shake.

It's why I'm still up right now. I had a hard day at work. I have to be back at 9 tomorrow morning. I'm not afraid of nothin' except electricity and hornets, but this dream really freaked me out. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for a couple of hours.

In it, I died.

It was very profound and emotional. It was a death where you linger, with family gathered and body failing.

And I could sense them there...I couldn't open my eyes or speak, but I knew they were there.

It was not unlike as if you were at sea, in the dark on an overcast night...with no sense of direction...but someone who could see the shore was telling you your bearings, keeping you just offshore, you couldn't find your way back, but you knew that as long as they were there, you would be able to...

And suddenly, they were gone. And the darkness closed in like never before. It was the most sad and alone and regretful feeling I've ever experienced in my life. It made me wake gasping for air and thankful for every lungful.

Such a strange mix of metaphor and yet I still can't explain the depth of it...like if you were walking at night in a very scary place, but people you loved were behind you, and you were talking the whole time, deriving comfort and bravery...then suddenly realized you had been talking to yourself for a while, and they had turned back and were gone....

Why does this scare me so much? It's very irrational...I've always wanted to go like a bug hitting a windshield. This makes me even more determined to go out like that...

Apparently half a bottle of whiskey and two PM meds can't make me tired tonight. No, I'm not suicidal, thanks for asking. ...I'm equipped to handle it.

Just someone explain why this has upset me so much. Please don't give me the default "because you won't die with Jesus" answer.

You can work that aspect into it. Just fool me somehow.

Thanks.

I am listening to the most amazing music...

[RoadKing]

Sir, you are good at writing. Perhaps you write the above in a sudden creative flurry. But I want to tell you that your last line spooks me, my friend. During her final days three years ago my mom began asking me if I could hear the music. I pray to Jesus that you are just rambling on. And in saying so I am not trying to fool you.

[jeffcoslacker]

Sir, you are good at writing. Perhaps you write the above in a sudden creative flurry. But I want to tell you that your last line spooks me, my friend. During her final days three years ago my mom began asking me if I could hear the music. I pray to Jesus that you are just rambling on. And in saying so I am not trying to fool you.

I strove to put it into words last night while it was fresh and I was scared and awake. But it just hadn't coalesced yet.

Even now I am at a loss to convey the depth of it.

[DevilsFan]

Fear not, young grasshopper!!!


"Death means new beginnings:

Dreaming of your own death symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Big changes are ahead for you where you are making a new start and leaving the past behind. If you are getting married or divorce, being promoted to a new position, moving to a new country, you may experience dreams of your own death. If you dream of faking your death, then it suggests that you are taking control of your life and making a fresh start. You want change in your life. "

http://www.dreammoods.com/commondreams/ ... reams.html

[RoadKing]

Jeffco! You still with us?

[franktiregod]

Can I have your motorcycle? [emoji2]

[old time rider]

Talk to Fred. He is great at getting you mad and for get your troubles!

[lonerider]

Half a bottle of whiskey will f*ck your mind up and keep you awake. Don't do that.

[Cuban]

...I had a weird dream. One of those you can't shake... someone explain why this has upset me so much.

[emoji2] It's funny I just noticed this thread because Jason, our graphics guy, asked me yesterday if I wanted to hear about the dream he had the other night. I said sure, I love to hear about others' dreams because If they're anything like mine, it means they're really fucked up little stories that are cool to imagine, visually I mean. I won't go into it too deeply, but his involved horses chasing him in a muddy field, and then finding refuge in an abandoned barn where himself, Vladimir Putin and some generic politician put on some red sunglasses that Putin took from a satchel...

Anyway, I'd never try to decode my own dreams, let alone anyone elses, but I will say this. Lemme explain what I think they are...

The human brain can be thought of much like a computer system. We have sensors, circuit pathways, and a powerful central processor. Of course it's all very complicated, but broken down to the simplest terms, one of the jobs of the system is to retain information. Memories. We're talking about memories. Now, I believe that the body is put to sleep so the brain can shut down all sensor input, for filing purposes. Daily data, still in the buffers, has to either be filed into long term, short term or some other category of storage. Don't know how many slots there might be...

At any rate, this filing process is what we sometimes experience as dreams. That's also why some things in the dream make total sense, whereas other things totally don't fit in there at all. Strange fucked up things, outta whack physics, people who are familiar but not... you know... fucked up shit. This is the result of cross-filing... the process of allocating the proper memory into the proper slot, so to speak. I picture it like Lili Tomlin sitting at her switchboard on Laugh-In. Yes, I'm old. lol Eventually the 'right call' gets to the 'right person', but there's usually some hysterics along the way.

This make any sense to you?

The last dream I recall in detail was weird in that I distinctly remember seeing myself. The short version is I had just landed this guy's plane and damaged the landing gear by putting it down too hard. (wasn't my fault) As I was standing outside the hangar explaining to him what happened, I rode my Intruder into the compound and saw myself talking to the guy. That was strange. I'm also quite certain that I was riding behind the plane during the landing, because I remember seeing the sparks...

Dreams, eh.

[JFL Live]

Most recent weird dream...

There were a few of us standing on the top floor of a building I used to be located in. We were all looking out the window over the horizon waiting. Something had happened, not sure what but we were waiting for the impact. Then we could see it coming, a giant shock wave approaching us at incredible and then boom, lights out. Everyone was dead. It was just black, nothing... the next thing I know I'm a little kid, 2 maybe 3 years old playing in what looked like a neighborhood that suffered a nuclear blast. My young parents were there and my mom picked me up. And I remember thinking, do they know what happened? I couldn't tell them because I was too young to talk.

[old time rider]

Cuban said..the short version.. [emoji2] .I have horses in my dreams! No wait its hung like a horse

[jeffcoslacker]

When my son was a toddler I used to have dreams where he was falling, like he'd fall off the porch and I'd reach to catch him and just miss, and when I looked over he was falling away as if I were on a 20 story building. It was horrifying.

That was my worst dream prior to the latest.

[YoDude]

Hummm...WTF is wrong with you? Only you can figger it out.

Yo-

[Cuban]

... My young parents were there and my mom picked me up. And I remember thinking, do they know what happened? I couldn't tell them because I was too young to talk.

Not a dream (I don't think) but I'm quite sure I have one quick little flash of a memory of being an infant. Mom was carrying me through Grandma's front door, and she handed me to Grandma who was standing just inside. I was wrapped in a yellow blanket. That's the whole memory. Weird.

Cuban said... the short version.. [emoji2]