Intruders-Alert

Maybe it’s just my breath.

hmm, one of the dogs? [space]

(putt putt putt) Someday day I’ll relate the legend of Marty Mouse. (putt putt putt)

Worked with a guy that had a English Bulldog. He said it was like a lab in that loved everyone and kids so much. When some asked him about getting a pup from a dealer he told him NO! Love mine but if he goes no way want another. All he does is eat,fart, and drool all over every thing.With the farts so bad. [emoji2]

Who farted?

Sorry...

Nothing is more wretched than a Boxer farting after eating popcorn. Especially if you fine tune it. With onion salt and Parmesan cheese.

I perfected it. Because payback.

Old dog farts can be the worst but they are a blessing, just the fact that your dog lived long enough to have old dog farts. Lost my Gypsy to bone cancer a year ago, only age five. My poor friend never got to have old dog farts. I’m an old dog, Gyp and I could have one day had old dog farting contests. I love my Gypsy.

JUST BLAME THE WIFE INSTEAD ....

JUST BLAME THE WIFE INSTEAD ....

Quick story...

So on Friday they sent a kindergartner to my class. Since I am the "disciplinarian" of the school my classroom has become the place to put the unruly students in. (I don't mind as the kids seem to respond more towards an ex-Army male!).
So this little girl comes in, sits at my back table, then tells me she's going to fart. I say that's not appropriate. Next thing I know I'm, literally, gagging!!! It was sooooo raunch and I was amazed that something like that could come out of a little girl. What's worse, she kept doing it! Seriously, I don't get nauseous like that but this girl was so bad! I walked her down to the nurse, told her to sit on that toilet until she couldn't poop any more!
They sent her back and she did it AGAIN!!!!
I called her mom in an effort to get the mom to pick her up. Her mom thought it was cute. Even one of my kids ran out of the room gagging.

Nasty!

DevilsFan wrote:Quick story...

So on Friday they sent a kindergartner to my class. Since I am the "disciplinarian" of the school my classroom has become the place to put the unruly students in. (I don't mind as the kids seem to respond more towards an ex-Army male!).
So this little girl comes in, sits at my back table, then tells me she's going to fart. I say that's not appropriate. Next thing I know I'm, literally, gagging!!! It was sooooo raunch and I was amazed that something like that could come out of a little girl. What's worse, she kept doing it! Seriously, I don't get nauseous like that but this girl was so bad! I walked her down to the nurse, told her to sit on that toilet until she couldn't poop any more!
They sent her back and she did it AGAIN!!!!
I called her mom in an effort to get the mom to pick her up. Her mom thought it was cute. Even one of my kids ran out of the room gagging.

Nasty!

Saturday evening I had my godson, who is 4, on my lap watching TV. Had the Lab on my left on the couch with us...he let one fly that I swear was the grossest thing I ever smelled in my life. He thought it was funny...even the dog got off the couch and when the dog leaves the room...YOU KNOW IT'S BAD. And that damn dog looked at ME as if I did it. I have no idea how a little 40lb body can generate something so nasty.

old time rider wrote:Worked with a guy that had a English Bulldog. He said it was like a lab in that loved everyone and kids so much. When some asked him about getting a pup from a dealer he told him NO! Love mine but if he goes no way want another. All he does is eat,fart, and drool all over every thing.With the farts so bad. [emoji2]

My wife says our boxer and me are like twins. We both lie around, scratch and fart.

But I know his farts stink more, especially after eating that "Taste of the Wild" dry food that's made from salmon. [space]

SR2 his food is good but I had to stop eating that brand. A truck all most hit me when I was in the road trying to lick myself! I know that's a real old one but that's what we old guys do.

MadCow wrote:

DevilsFan wrote:Quick story...

So on Friday they sent a kindergartner to my class. Since I am the "disciplinarian" of the school my classroom has become the place to put the unruly students in. (I don't mind as the kids seem to respond more towards an ex-Army male!).
So this little girl comes in, sits at my back table, then tells me she's going to fart. I say that's not appropriate. Next thing I know I'm, literally, gagging!!! It was sooooo raunch and I was amazed that something like that could come out of a little girl. What's worse, she kept doing it! Seriously, I don't get nauseous like that but this girl was so bad! I walked her down to the nurse, told her to sit on that toilet until she couldn't poop any more!
They sent her back and she did it AGAIN!!!!
I called her mom in an effort to get the mom to pick her up. Her mom thought it was cute. Even one of my kids ran out of the room gagging.

Nasty!

Saturday evening I had my godson, who is 4, on my lap watching TV. Had the Lab on my left on the couch with us...he let one fly that I swear was the grossest thing I ever smelled in my life. He thought it was funny...even the dog got off the couch and when the dog leaves the room...YOU KNOW IT'S BAD. And that damn dog looked at ME as if I did it. I have no idea how a little 40lb body can generate something so nasty.

I just let a pretty stout one rip. Wife started yelling at me… LOL

Who? What difference at this point does it make?

You guys have already heard my stories of, Richard The Fart King!

Yo-