Intruders-Alert

SWEEET

Last
Saturday afternoon in Washington, D.C. an aide to Nancy Pelosi visited the Bishop of the Catholic Cathedral in D.C.
He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending
the next day's Mass, and asked if the Cardinal would
kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few
words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The
Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the
woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic
Church over some of Pelosi's views." Pelosi's
aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and
now for a donation of $100,000 to you if you'll just
tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a
saint."
The
Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the Church
can use the money, so I'll work your request into
tomorrow's sermon." As Pelosi's aide promised,
Nancy Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated
herself prominently at the forward left side of the center
aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal
pointed out that Ms. Pelosi was present.
The
Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While
Ms. Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, the
woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages.
Some of her most egregious views are contrary to tenets of
the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues.
Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb
sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a
cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst
example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She
married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the
American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her
Representative obligations both in Washington and in
California The
woman is simply not to be trusted." The Cardinal
concluded. “But, when compared with Hillary Clinton, Ms
Pelosi is a saint."

Government assistance !!!




DO YOU KNOW WHY THIS GUY SAYS HE DESERVES GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE?


ANSWER:

BECAUSE HE SAYS HE CAN'T GET A JOB.

NO SHIT!!!

Sure you're the letter E and you appear twice in each of Harris's 2 post.

.
That 'bout sums it up. [space]

LOCATION...LOCATION... LOCATION…

You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation
when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home.
The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.
By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is considered "mentally unstable.”

BUT…
In Michigan, he'd be called "the last white guy still living in Detroit.”
In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector.”
In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector.”
In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food.”
In Kansas, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend.”
In Montana, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy.”
In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate.”
In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor.”
In North Carolina, Virginia, WV, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, South Carolina and Minnesota he would be called "a deer hunting buddy”

AND OF COURSE
In Louisiana he'd just be "Bubba; who's a little short on Ammo."

Subject: Preacher's Son
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
1. A Bible.
2. A silver dollar.
3. A bottle of whiskey.
4. A Playboy magazine.

'I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.
"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be.
"If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.
"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.
"And worst of all, if he picks up the magazine, he'll be a womanizer all his life!"
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink,while he admired the magazine's centerfold.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered. "He's gonna run for Congress."

Fable of the Porcupine……..

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.

The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

The moral of the story is:

Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life